Sowing Gold

I haven’t been writing in this blog for over 8 months which means that I have not been obedient to the vision that God planted in my heart. What I lacked was a greater purpose, a greater reason to get over my excuses and to allow myself to be used in the capacity that God wishes to use me. I’ve been resisting it for years! I just got a conviction this past weekend in Chicago at another Dani Johnson event that I have been hiding my light under a bowl only to read the very first post I added to this blog which says the very same thing. That post was written in July of 2009. That means for the past 3 years I have been struggling with the exact same thing. Fear. And not fear of failure but of success.

But the Lord knows what He is doing. He has been setting me up all along.

All the things that I’ve been doing the past 3 years have all been leading to this day. All the inspiration that has come to me over the years, all the ideas that I have been collecting were all divinely implanted inside of my heart by design. It’s all part of The Great Setup.

But all this time I have been hiding. Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? How can hide from the Lord Almighty? As Dani has said, “if you don’t obey, he will hunt you down for the rest of  your life… you may aswell give in now.” And that is exactly what he has been doing. The Lord has not relented on the call over my life. As much as I have tried to hide, he won’t relent. So what choice do I have? I don’t have a choice.

As stated in the book Wild at Heart, “the desire reveals the design, which reveals the destiny”. As much as I may desire not to succeed, I can’t resist the design. Every fabric of my being is calling me into the teritory of the unknown… the teritory for more. Not more for myself but more for the lives of others.

What the Lord has done know is he has planted a vision in my heart. A vision that makes me do things that I don’t want to do. A vision revealing that in every moment, there is a life tied to mine.

I just cried out, “Why me Lord” and he gave me Isaiah 49. I’m wrecked.

I remember the pull with such clarity. I knew without a doubt that there was purpose behind it, I’m just not too sure that I’ve figured it out yet. Why is it that we click with some people and not with others? What causes the click to happen? Is it common place? Does it happen to people often?

A week or so ago, I walked into a bookstore and had a book just pop out to me. So I picked it up and looked at it, only to set it down again. Then as I’m walking out, it’s almost as though my head was turned to catch the same book on the table. It took a head turn to finally get the hint. Ok, Ok, I’ll get it, I thought. And wouldn’t you know the title? “Click”.

Very interested to have been lead to this book. Very interesting indeed.

As it would turn out, there was indeed a click. An instant attraction, although not necessarily a romantic one. Just a space in time where two people meet and there just seems to forces at work that brought them together at an exact moment in time. And the outcome? Who knows. There isn’t one yet. Just conversations that seem to lead us both into an unknown. One where realities are revealed, goals set and some accomplished.

The mystery is alluring. What purpose will this serve?

So I’m listening to a call that is talking about prospering where you are planted. I also read a quote today that said, “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.” So what I can make most of this “click” is a place to prosper where I am planted.

Then I hear that you have to know where you are going when you are prospering where you are planted! What an amazing twist! Here I am thinking, I don’t know where this is going. But to be specific and go at it with all I’ve got? Amazing!

….an interesting twist.

So the idea is to get out of my comfort zone. Where am I resting?

I have an inkling where this is going and it is a risk! The unknown perhaps. Actually for sure. Eeeeeh! It’s a bit scary to go there.

Well, something worth waiting for it worth the wait.

God, I pray that you show my what direction you want me to go. I know that I have been mislead by my own desires in the past. I want to do what you want me to do. I want you to be in this no matter what the result. I know that you put that pull in my spirit and that you also lead me to that book. I don’t what you are doing in this, but I know that you are doing something perhaps really big. I pray that you give me the persistence to try and the patience to wait.

I love that you always lead me with little crumbs. I really love knowing that you are guiding me daily. You are always here in it all. It’s truly amazing how present you really are and how obvious your signs can be! Bright neon signs! And I still ask you for a sign. LOL! I wonder what you are thinking when that happens:)

I love you, God. You amaze me daily.

As I was sitting in the kingdom hall with my boyfriend on Sunday, the “talk” that preceded the Watchtower mentioned a verse in 2 Peter.  Because I am not a witness but go to support my boyfriend, sometimes I will pick a book in the bible and read it during the meeting. So, I read the second book of Peter. These verses just popped out at me! I knew that I had to spend more time reading and meditating on it, but just continued thinking I would go back to it later, when I should know I never do. Then, I tried to go back in the Watchtower and catch up with the rest of the congregation when I found the verse again in the reading!  It was the second time that verse popped up in a half an hour! “Ok,” I thought, “I’d better look more into this”.  So, I whipped out my ipod and started delving into the meaning of each word by looking up its definition, when it dawned on me that I had been working on my mission statement for my new business.

Here is the verse from the Jehovah’s Witness bible, “New World Translation”,
“By your contributing in response all earnest effort, supply to your faith virtue, to your virtue knowledge, to your knowledge self-control, to your self-control endurance, to your endurance godly devotion, to your godly devotion brotherly affection, to your brotherly affection love. For if these things exist in you and overflow, they will prevent you from being either inactive or unfruitful regarding the accurate knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. “ 2 Peter 1:5-8

This is what I came up with when I translate the verses:
(Faith) There is a vision that is planted in you, that no evidence suggests its manifestation. Believe and hold onto it.

(Virtue) You will have to take actions toward it that reflect clean morals built upon a foundation of ethical principles Build it.

(Knowledge) Back your actions with the knowledge of experience and gather whatever information you can. Study and learn.

(Self-Control) Make sure that in all actions you maintain self control, keeping all feelings and energy in check. Stay on the course and do not sway from side to side.

(Endurance) There will be tests and trials that will meet you face to face. You will meet rejection and hardship that will attempt to throw you off course. Continue despite all stress, fatigue and opposition.

(Godly Devotion) Maintain profound dedication to the cause given to you by the Lord. Keep earnest attachment to the cause.

(Affection) May the Spirit fill you with affection toward life, that all actions reveal our fond attachment and devotion fueled with emotion and feeling which cause us to take continuous action by altering our thinking. Stay devoted, positive and passionate to the cause.

(Love) May this affection, backed by intense passion, deepening attachment and desire, ignite a deep concern for the well-being of all others, fueled with enthusiasm & affection for God and his creation. Love and treat your neighbor as you would want to be treated. Love God above all things.

Should all these ingredients be present, there will be no procrastination or stagnation nor lack! All things will then be possible! This is the recipe for success…true success. For nothing can lack in this!

Change never brings with it a feeling of comfort. A period of transition comes with thoughts of fear of the unknown as well as feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.

No matter what skills we acquire, no matter how many books we dive our brains into, no matter how many times we rub our stomachs and pat our heads, none of these will do anything whatsoever unless they are backed with a faith in God that He is able to make a way where there is no way!

Who are we to think that we can do anything alone!? What pride rests in the idea that we are to accomplish ANYTHING in this life without the Him! What pride rests in the idea that God is not able to send just the right person into our lives to help and support us to serve His purposes! What pride rests in the idea that God is not able to make a way!

People are afraid to step out into the unknown because they think they have to do it alone… blind to the idea that the right person will appear standing, holding a sign with which direction to take. People stay the same and SETTLE not because of feelings of inadequacy or abjection, but because of a lack of faith. How prideful is this! Do you know what pride means!? Pride is “pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself”. Who ever in the course of history ever did anything ALONE? What person can ever take complete credit for doing anything? Even running a marathon demands credit for the man who slaved in making the path taken, whether paved or previously beaten by others before… it demands credit for the machines that assemble shoes that protect the feet… it demands credit for the water that was lifted from the Earth and placed back into it, cleansed and able to drink… it demands credit to the hands that sewed the shirt that covers the back… it demands credit for the encouragement of others that gives cheers along the way… Not to mention it demands the credit for the body which made it possible!! What pride rests in the mouth that says, “I ran a marathon”. For…

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13

It is only through God that all things are possible!

“It is impossible for people [to save themselves], but everything is possible for God.” Matthew 19:26

Tell all thoughts of, “I don’t deserve it”, or “I feel unworthy” to go to hell! We need not think we are unworthy, because we are! We are unworthy to believe that we can do it alone! We are unworthy to think that that ANYTHING is impossible for God. For NOTHING is! There is nothing that God cannot do! So, why then is our life not perfect? Because we chose for it not to be. We have made the decision to chose fear over faith, for…

“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists…”

For if we chose fear over faith, we block the riches that God has in store for us! For….

“…He (only) rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

Hebrews 12 says that God disciplines his children. That if we are not disciplined, we are not His true children. We are to endure hardship to gain respect God as we do from punishment from our father. Like our father who punishes us for own good, so does God, so that we can share in His holiness. For…

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

God tests our faith with the new! Change is the evidence that God has more in store for us. It is not that God cannot give us all that our heart desires, but that we lack faith that He can. For fear of change equals lack of faith!

Where is your faith!?

This blog came to me as a vision when I woke up the other morning. What I learned after attending one Dani Johnson’s event in DC was that I have been hearing God and I have been afraid of His light that shines from within me. So, I’ve decided to do what I haven’t been doing since I felt the Holy Spirit come into my life, which to be obedient.

I’m not exactly sure of the true purpose of this blog, but have come to realize that that purpose needs not find me logically. I have made a decision to follow directions from God and do what is asked of me. This being so, I have no doubt that this blog serves some sort of purpose.

In looking at the fruit of my life, I can see that I have not been planting seeds that have taken root. In looking at the parable of reaping and sowing, I have found that the case for me is that the worries of this life have choked the word, making it unfruitful.

I have without a doubt received messages from God (the Holy Spirit) and because they have not happened immediately, I have lost faith in them and have allowed fear and doubt to overcome me, thus asking for what I have received.  For some reason, I have had it in my mind that if they do not transpire that day, then I have been deceived.

What I have learned in attending Dani’s seminar and from starting to read the bible, is that, God is faithful to his word. This may not only apply to what has been revealed to us in the bible, which I’m not certain of yet, because I have not read it, but also applies to what God reveals to us and through us in and for our lives. Why have I thought him unfaithful?

I was given a vision once that did not become fruitful and I’m pretty certain that it wasn’t because of potential in the situation, but because I doubted it. Had I trusted in it whole-heartedly, would it have transpired, or was it merely designed that way? Would I have came to such realization without it? Perhaps not.

But, one thing is for certain, nothing can be made of that now, but to learn from it.

I no longer want to look at things in my life like I have before. They have not served me up to this point, so really I have no faithfullness to them. Doubt, worry and unbelief has done the exact opposite to what I have wanted to do, have or accomplish in my life. Whatever plague of fear that I have bestowed upon myself I want release now. I no longer want fear to be my driving force but rather a guide to see when I’m slipping back in that direction and away from total faith in God’s plan for me. If I know something to be of God and in His plan for me, I will plant the seed where he wants me to plant it and I will abide by his wishes with complete faith and obedience.

Fear will have to subside to the calling of God on my life.

Let it be known that God has reign over my life and I am a disciple of His. No thoughts that are not of God will be allowed to enter my mind and camp there, but will be released as soon as they arrive. For I have the strength within me to know the difference and will lay my life down to Him.

The seeds I sow will become fruitful because God wills it. Anything good that comes from me is from Him. I can do nothing without Him. He is my protector, my sheild and my light. For even this body I am but an occupant. Even that too shall be taken at His will. Any possession that I attian will be of God, to God and for God. I will honor Him and all that that He shall bestow upon me.

God has blessed me with various gifts that he wishes for me share with the world. I have previously allowed doubt and worry to squash His light, which I will no longer do. Whatever you want of me God, you can make of me and I will be obedient. For before, my pride did not allow me to honor you or any man before me. But, now I have seen that you have bestowed these things for your glory. Whatever you put before me, I will honor and treat as if it were gold, because the seeds that you have placed in my hand are to bear crops of gold, and I trust that you will water and nurture them.

God, thank you for this life that you have given me and for coming into my life in the ways you have. I trust that you will always be here with me and that you will always provide all that you wish to be bestowed in my life. Thank you for your patience, in that, I have waited this long to lay my life down to you. You have blessed me in more ways than I ever knew. But, now I am seeing this and know that it has all been because of you. Thank you, God. Thank you!

Your daughter,

Susan